Sherlock and John with cell phones by Q: Tell me your resolutions and I'll tell you mine? ;) -JM
Anonymous
I don’t take part in such things. And if I did, I don’t see why I should tell you. -SH
In Which John Watson Finds a Certain Website
You’re laughing so loudly I can hear you from downstairs. What’s so amusing? Please tell me it isn’t that stupid show you insist on watching every week. -SH
I’ve told you before, and I’ll tell you again: The Office is an amazing and witty show that you would really like if you gave it the chance. But no, that’s not why I’m laughing. Molly just texted me a link to this website. Oh, you’ll love it.
What is it? -SH
Oh, I’m not going to tell you. You’ll have to force it out of me.
John, this is absolutely preposterous. -SH
You’ll find a way to convince me to let you see it. But, in the meantime, I guess I’ll just sit here and bask in your displeasure.
And how do I know that this isn’t some inane pop culture fluff? -SH
I guess you’ll have to take that risk.
No, I can see it written plain and clear on your face; this has something to do with me. You know I could just hack your phone right? -SH
You could. But my way’s so much more fun, don’t you think?
Very well then. Continue looking at that stupid site on your phone. And while you’re doing that, think of all the places I could touch you. A kiss on the corner of your mouth. A bite at that joint where your neck meets your shoulder. A brush of my fingertips against your nipples. Your hip. Your cock. -SH
It’s a good start, but it’ll take more than that to make me crack.
Oh I won’t just make you crack, John Watson. I’ll make you beg, kiss you and suck you until you’re writhing and whimpering my name, but I won’t push you off that precipice. I’ll let you hang there while I enjoy the sight of you, wanton and moaning and exposed, looking at me with those lust-filled eyes and begging to be fucked. And then, right before I send you over the edge and make you come so hard you see stars, I’ll remind you just why I always get what I want. -SH
Cat got your tongue? Very well then; there are better things you could be doing with that marvellous tongue of yours anyway. -SH
—-
I win. Send me the link. -SH
Fine, but I’m videotaping your reaction.
<Incoming link from John Watson: OttersThatLookLikeSherlockHolmes.com>
In Which Sherlock Holmes Over-Analyzes (Again)
You know that octopus from the Smith-Westing case? The one that ended up being the murder weapon?
I never forget a case, John. You know that. -SH
It reminds me of you.
I assume you’re referring to the fact that octopi, and indeed all cephalopods, are extremely intelligent. And thus, become extremely bored quite easily. Indeed, sometimes I believe that octopi would be much more engaging company than you lot. -SH
Thank you for that. But no, I wasn’t referring to your massive intellect. Rather, I was talking about your octopus-like tendencies in bed.
Loathe as I am to admit it, I’m afraid I don’t follow you. -SH
Sherlock, have you ever realized that you are a cuddler?
Don’t most people in relationships cuddle at some point or another? -SH
Well, yes, but you do it a lot. Like, exceedingly often. You seem to relish in cuddling with me.
Perhaps I enjoy it, what does it matter? -SH
It’s not anything bad, don’t get me wrong. I enjoy it as much as you do. It’s just, before we got into this relationship, I never would have imagined that you would be so… cuddly… as you are. It’s cute.
Cute. -SH
Well, yes.
John, of all the words you could use to describe me, “cute” is the one you go for? -SH
Well, it is. You are. You enjoy being held and holding back, and I find that absolutely brilliant. It shows you’re human.
As opposed to what, John? I never understand what you mean by that. It shows that I have flaws? -SH
Well… no, enjoying cuddling isn’t a flaw.
It doesn’t show that I’m human. It shows that I enjoy my lover holding me and keeping me warm. If anything, it shows that I have normal, healthy instincts. -SH
You ruined it, you know.
Would you like me to come home with hot cocoa and a blanket big enough for two? -SH
No.
Okay, yes.
In Which The Boys Enjoy Festivities
Sherlock? Why do you look so happy? Is there a new case?
No, John. But it’s almost as good. -SH
What are you talking about Sherlock?
Think, John! Don’t you understand what today is? Look around and observe! -SH
Does this have anything to do with why you asked me to meet you in Chinatown?
Good, you’re getting there. -SH
Well, I don’t see what you’re so excited about.
It’s Chinese New Year John! -SH
Well, yes, I know that. So what?
For one thing, there’s the firecrackers. This is the one time of the year where I can conduct as many experiments as I want involving pyrotechnics without the neighbours complaining. -SH
It’s not like you listen to their complaints anyways.
Irritating. And dull. But the fact of the matter is, the large variety of fireworks available means that I don’t have to spend weeks searching for a particular brand. -SH
You know that you could always ask your brother… Never mind, why do I even bother suggesting it?
I am going to pretend that such an idiotic thought never even crossed your mind. -SH
The Chinese food. -SH
What?
You don’t think I only like Chinese New Year for the firecrackers, do you John? Surely you don’t believe me to be that simple. There are many reasons behind my excitement, and Chinese food is one of them. -SH
You don’t even eat most of the time!
Perhaps not, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t. And I know how much you like the special spring rolls that Chinese restaurant only serves during Chinese New Year. -SH
Well yes, but that’s me, not you.
Don’t be dense John, you know that I enjoy it when you are happy. -SH
Thank you. Oi, did you know that you were born in the Year of the Dragon? I know you tend to find these horoscope things dull, but this one seems to fit you pretty well: unchained by rules or regulations, stubborn, proud-
Are these things normally supposed to have so many negative traits? -SH
Impatient as well. You want to hear the good stuff then? Confident, passionate, brilliant, alluring, sexy…
What, we’re leaving already? What happened to cultural traditions and firecrackers and Chinese food?
You forgot one more thing; dragons take what they want, when they want it. And right now, I want you. -SH
—-
Right… so this has nothing to do with the lion dance at all then?
What are you talking about? -SH
You haven’t taken your eyes off of the lion dance troupe since they first turned the corner, and you’re beaming like a child on Christmas morning.
I’m simply admiring their … skill. And the centuries of history behind the practice. -SH
Oh please, you couldn’t give a toss about history. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone that the great Sherlock Holmes’s secret weakness is a good lion dance.
I’m not going to dignify that with a response. -SH
Act aloof all you want, but you know that it’s true. In fact, I find it rather adorable. You, fangirling over cultural traditions.
Really? -SH
Really. And do you know what else is great about throngs of people watching a lion dance parade? No one will notice when I drag you into that alley and start snogging the sense out of you.
Well then. Happy Lunar New Year John. -SH
Happy Chinese New Year to you too Sherlock.
A Note from the Staff
If you’re reading this, congratulations on surviving the Fall.
Seeing as how it is extremely difficult to sext with a party of one, official sextsfrom221b canon takes place pre-Reichenbach for now.
The admin have spoken.
In happier news, we have some juicy sexts in the works, so keep an eye out!
-Flourish and Baku
Q: Yes, that sounds lovely. I'm so glad you're enjoying yourselves. Perhaps I can share a few more tips when we meet? -IA
Anonymous
They’re always appreciated.
John? Are you texting Irene? Why is it you’re allowed to text Irene and I’m not allowed to text Moriarty? -SH
It may have something to do with Moriarty being a homicidal maniac who has threatened to kill us multiple times.
Please. It’s not like he’ll ever succeed. -SH
Oh hush, you clot. How about this: instead of arguing about why you aren’t allowed to text Moriarty, you can come back to bed. I dug out the riding crop.
Q: I'm in London again. Let's have dinner. - IA
Anonymous
Oh, hello Irene! Sherlock’s a bit… tied up at the moment (thanks for the tips by the way) but will Sunday night work for you? Same place as always then? Sherlock will make the necessary precautions of course… once I’m done with him, that is.
Q: So, boys. Here's something fun. Sherlock, tell us what John's favorite position is. John, tell us what Sherlock's is.
freyasfolly
I don’t think either one of us has a favourite, per se. It really depends on our moods and what we have available at the time.
Wrong. -SH
My experiments have shown that John jlakjdflsk -SH
Sorry, had to snog him to shut him up. What happens in the flat stays in the flat.
But what about the alley? And the rooftop? And that time in Lestrade’s office? -SH
It seems I’ll need a more… vigorous way to shut you up this time Sherlock.
Oh. Well then, I guess this question can wait. -SH
Anonymous
So, my dear Sherlockians…
It is that time again. Do you all remember that one time I made those colossal sherlockian blog lists? I will be doing yet another one!
We have grown so much as a fandom, and I wanted for all of you to see exactly how much we have grown.
A few things:
- Reblog this message, if your blog consists of anything relating to the BBC Series Sherlock. (please don’t like, or reblog multiple times)
- Check back on my blog’s sidebar on December 31st, 2011 at 9 pm EST to find yourself amongst the list.
- Look upon the other magnificent Sherlockians that shall be displayed for you.
- I don’t want to obnoxiously horde your dashes with usernames everywhere, so let me know if you’d rather I put them all under a read more, or if you’d prefer to see all the blogs for you to follow. I’d appreciate it. :)
Thank you guys! I love you all so much. <3
(Source: suojure, via asksherlockandjohnholmes)
Q: I dunno how you boys feel about handing out advice, but I'm in a bit of a pickle. I've got this guy friend who started dating another one of my girl friends, and after they learned I'm... 'pansexual' we'll say, they asked if I would be interested in a threeway relationship. I've never heard of such a thing working out before, what do you think?
Anonymous
I’m afraid that relationships are not my area. John himself has been in a few, but they have only ever been monogamous. However, in my personal point of view, I believe that a relationship of polygamous nature has just as much of a chance to succeed as a monogamous one. Certainly, having more people involved can make an affair more complicated, but it should not pose too much of an issue provided all members of the relationship have a mutual liking and respect for one another and their feelings. -SH
